~~..::***WARNING!!!!***::..~~ You are about to read this Jeorge Story. Due to some foul language, I would like to ask any veiwers under 13 years of age NOT read this Jeorge Story Post. If you DO continue down, you are saying that you CAN handle the language, so what you may read below the warning sign is not my responsibility. Do be aware, however, that I did not post anything racist, obscene, nudest, or sexually based. Thank you.
~~~~~If you are under 13 years of age, and you are going to keep reading, I am no longer responsible beyond this point~~~~~
Haha, yeah. I found this kool new website called Uncyclopedia. It's where they...well, it's like Wikipedia. Except, different. Funnier. Well, i was just looking up Animal Crossing: Wild World Cheats, so when i stumbled upon this site, i thought it was HILARIOUS. So, i started looking up other stuff on there. TV shows, books...then i typed in Luigi's Mansion. They don't even have an article on that! So, today, I'm going to write my own (I've played this game 18 times...XP).
And now, fellow Jeorge Story veiwers, I present to you my 49th post:
Luigi's Mansion Spoof*
* This post was based off of the article of ACWW. But it's still a JOSOA.
~.:*JOSOA*:.~
LUIGI'S MANSION:
This video game was based off an Italian guy who's brother gets captured in a haunted mansion. It was made by Donkey Kong. He made it because he annoyed Mario so much, but never Luigi. Way to go, Donkey Kong! =D
The gay brother of Mario, Luigi, gets a phone call from Curious George, telling Luigi he has won some bad-ass mansion. A mansion he didn't even enter to win. Luigi, being the stupid, ignorant, bafoon he is, decides to go. After all, it doesn't seem suspicious! So he calls his bro Mario and he's like "Dood, FTW, i jst wun a freekin sweete manshun. I dun have no map or anythin, but come on ova." and so, Mario leaves (that stupid...nevermind.). Mario somehow manages to get there before Luigi (probably because Luigi is so freaken slow) and gets captured by a ghost. How that happens, i do not know -_-.
OBJECTIVE:
To get Mario back, stupid! As we all know, Luigi can't stand to live without his dear precious Mario. Even though with Mario gone, Luigi can corrupt the whole Mario corporation and have Princess Peach to himself, thus leaving thousands of gamers upset and confused. Yeah. Don't think about that. Go save your brother. Smart one. *rolls eyes*
YOUR CHARACTER:
A gay, probably 45-year old Italian guy who wears the same green clothes all the time. He'd rather put on a dress (as seen in the wardrobe room) but he doesn't want to feel like a girl. Even though he is. He has a big freaken nose that bounces with him when he waddles around the mansion. And a moustache, which when his is standing and bobbing up and down, sways peacefully. He is armed with a Kirby vaccuum cleaner. He also hates dust.
STARTING OUT:
Well, Luigi is following this VERY complex map while walking through a dead forest during a dark and stormy night. Actually, it's not exactly stormy. There's just lightening. Which kinda sucks. There are also birds that squak, which scare him out of his li'l granny panties. then he realizes the mansion is haunted. he gets scared, but goes up the steps anyway, even though there's a graveyard on the front lawn, and one of the lights is turned on even though the mansion is his. He slowly goes in and shines his flashlight. "Hallo?" he calls out. No answer. Duh. He goes in. That may just be his smartest move all night. He finds himself face to face with a door with a bunch of thorns on it. It's pulsing. But yet, that doesn't get Luigi scared. And birds do? Luigi, you have issues. Then, he goes upstairs and shakes the doorknob. He hears laughing. Could it be? Mario?? *eyes sparkle with joy* he rushes downstairs to find a ghost with a key! Luigi is terrified!(no surprise there.) And so, the adventure begins. Great. *rolls eyes again*
And now, fellow Jeorge Story veiwers, I present to you my 49th post:
Luigi's Mansion Spoof*
* This post was based off of the article of ACWW. But it's still a JOSOA.
~.:*JOSOA*:.~
LUIGI'S MANSION:
This video game was based off an Italian guy who's brother gets captured in a haunted mansion. It was made by Donkey Kong. He made it because he annoyed Mario so much, but never Luigi. Way to go, Donkey Kong! =D
The gay brother of Mario, Luigi, gets a phone call from Curious George, telling Luigi he has won some bad-ass mansion. A mansion he didn't even enter to win. Luigi, being the stupid, ignorant, bafoon he is, decides to go. After all, it doesn't seem suspicious! So he calls his bro Mario and he's like "Dood, FTW, i jst wun a freekin sweete manshun. I dun have no map or anythin, but come on ova." and so, Mario leaves (that stupid...nevermind.). Mario somehow manages to get there before Luigi (probably because Luigi is so freaken slow) and gets captured by a ghost. How that happens, i do not know -_-.
OBJECTIVE:
To get Mario back, stupid! As we all know, Luigi can't stand to live without his dear precious Mario. Even though with Mario gone, Luigi can corrupt the whole Mario corporation and have Princess Peach to himself, thus leaving thousands of gamers upset and confused. Yeah. Don't think about that. Go save your brother. Smart one. *rolls eyes*
YOUR CHARACTER:
A gay, probably 45-year old Italian guy who wears the same green clothes all the time. He'd rather put on a dress (as seen in the wardrobe room) but he doesn't want to feel like a girl. Even though he is. He has a big freaken nose that bounces with him when he waddles around the mansion. And a moustache, which when his is standing and bobbing up and down, sways peacefully. He is armed with a Kirby vaccuum cleaner. He also hates dust.
STARTING OUT:
Well, Luigi is following this VERY complex map while walking through a dead forest during a dark and stormy night. Actually, it's not exactly stormy. There's just lightening. Which kinda sucks. There are also birds that squak, which scare him out of his li'l granny panties. then he realizes the mansion is haunted. he gets scared, but goes up the steps anyway, even though there's a graveyard on the front lawn, and one of the lights is turned on even though the mansion is his. He slowly goes in and shines his flashlight. "Hallo?" he calls out. No answer. Duh. He goes in. That may just be his smartest move all night. He finds himself face to face with a door with a bunch of thorns on it. It's pulsing. But yet, that doesn't get Luigi scared. And birds do? Luigi, you have issues. Then, he goes upstairs and shakes the doorknob. He hears laughing. Could it be? Mario?? *eyes sparkle with joy* he rushes downstairs to find a ghost with a key! Luigi is terrified!(no surprise there.) And so, the adventure begins. Great. *rolls eyes again*
CHARACTERS
There are a bunch of Characters in Luigi's Mansion. Here they are!
There are a bunch of Characters in Luigi's Mansion. Here they are!
Mario (haha, i put him in front of Luigi): He's the red guy, the one who gets captured. And, THANKS TO HIM, we have to go on a whole wild goose chase. not literally though. He leaves clues all over the mansion, so the bad-ass ugly fortune teller can tell Luigi where Mario is. She doesn't tell him, though, after all the clues, so he beats her mercelissly with his vaccuum cleaner. He leaves his hat (which has just been laundered recently!), his glove (Luigi sniffs it), his shoe (Luigi sniffs that too), his star (Luigi finds it on the moon O_o), and a letter ("Luigi beware of boos!" Like he doesn't know this already X/).
Luigi: He's the 45 year old Italian i was talking about. He must rescue Mario. Thanks Luigi, thanks. How is it that you wound yourself up in this?! Mario doesn't need you! He hasen't needed you in over 20 video games! so NOW you wanna be a brother?! Great Luigi, that's just GREAT.
Professor E. Gadd: His street name is PEG. He has a freaken sweet hairdoo. He's the one that gives Luigi the vaccuum cleaner. You see folks, E. Gadd (I'm sorry...PEG) is a ghost hunter. I don't know how, but once he captures the ghosts, he puts them in a painting. you heard me: THE GHOSTS ARE PUT INTO A PAINTING. well, thanks to those goddamn boos, all the ghosts escape. Guess who has to put them all back? Yeah. Idiot Luigi. Doesn't PEG know anything?
Toad: He's the sweet-awesome mushroom guy. He's the only person that can save the game. you usually find him crying because he's either: Lost, sad that Mario is gone, afraid that Peach is going to beat him with a toaster if he doesn't return with Mario, saw a bad image of Mario in a painting, or dropped something REALLY important in the toilet. Guess who has to fish it out of there? Good ol' Luigi.
Peach: She's the Princess who sent Toad after Mario. Stupid Peach. Mario rescues you EVERY SINGLE TIME you get yourself kidnapped, and all you can do for Mario is just send a crying Toad?!? And the only way you can get Toad over there is if you threaten him! You dumb bitch. No wonder no one likes you.
Donkey Kong: He's the one who gets all the credit. If he haden't driven Mario into complete insanity for throwing barrels at him, Mario would've NEVER gone into that mansion! especially since HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A FREAKING MAP!
Bowser: More on him later. You heard me. LATER!
King Boo: Him too.
THE GHOSTS:
Also known as the Gallery Ghosts. Here they are: (to veiw these ghosts pictures,
Neville (The Bookish Father): No, not the loveable geek in the Harry Potter series. Neville, the first gallery ghost! He looks like Eliza's dad in Eliza Thornberry, a cartoon on Nickelodeon. Seriously. He just sits there in a library, reading. Because that's the funnest thing he can think of when being dead. When he yawns, you have to suck him up with a vaccuum cleaner. I know. None of this is making sense. -_- stupid Neville. Making things compicated.
Lydia (The Mirror Gazing Mother): When Luigi comes into her room, she doesn't notice him. When he opens the curtain, letting in breeze, she doesn't notice him. "Oh dear, what a terrible draft." is all she says. She sits there, just brushing her hair. It would be fun to crack the mirror and see what she says XD
Chauncey (The Spoiled Baby): Damn, is this baby a pain in the ass. He makes you really tiny and throws horses and cloth balls at you. then he bodyslams you and laughs really dementedly. He has kool hair though. Kudos, Chauncey!
Then the thorny, weird pulsing door opens. Hoo-rah!
The Floating Whirlindas (The Dancing Couple): All they do is waltz. Waltz. Waltz. Waltz. They suck. Seriously. There's not much to say about them, seeing as how they're losers. so, on to the next ghost.
Shivers (The Wandering Butler): More like the Pervy Butler. He's like 75 years old and he paces outside of a 29-year-old girl pianist named Melody. I know. Not only that, but he's a stalker. And a backstabber. And psychopathic when it comes to fire. Which is odd, considering the fact that HE'S HOLDING A FREAKING CANDELSTICK.
And of course, we have Melody Pianissima: Do you NOT notice a name thing here? Besides the fact that they all stuck. Well, Luigi goes in there, and starts to play an instrument to the song of, you guessed it, the Mario Bros. Theme. Then she comes in, and she's like "Z0mg, pl0x, U gottza like heer meh songs. Oh, nd 1'm l1ke, a BIG videeoh game freek." so she plays a tune to, that's right, a Mario Bros. Game. If he got the answer right, he gets attacked my music sheets. If not, she totally spazzes and flees. Nice one, Luigi. You're an expert on the ladies -_-. I hope you get a papercut from those music sheets.
Mr. Luggs (The Glutton): Before he enters the room, and Luigi's struttin' down the hall, you hear like this noise that sounds like a saw on wood. That's Mr. Luggs -_-. You go in, slip on a stupid freaking banana peel, and Mr. Luggs is eating none other than see-through cake. Mmm, appetizing. So, when he runs out of cake, he pounds his fork and spoon on the table, and ghosts come and bring him more. You kick those ghosties asses, suck up the cake wit your state-of-the-art Kirby vaccuum cleaner, and eventually he barfs fireballs at you. But i think he has cancer cause then he tires out after throwing up so much. *Sigh* Goddamn that fire-ball burping glutton.
Spooky (The Hungry Dog): Ah, ze finest dog on ze market, a crrross ov a peetbull and a sabertoothed tigear.
Errr, sorry. I got bored =/. I hate this dog. Hate him, hate him, hate him. He chomps on Luigi's leg, until some undead skeloton says "BAD DOG!" and starts throwing bones at you. -_- GREAT mansion, Luigi. Really.
Bogmire (The Cemetary Ghost): Why they called him Bogmire, i do not know. Well, the sky goes from "gross stormy black yuckiness" to "zomg theres black yuckiness with colors around.". I don't know why it turns that way, i think Nintendo is telling us that Luigi is on some kind of medication O_o. Then the cemetary turns into this pitty Arena of Cemetary Death. Gaaah. Luigi, how many fingers am i holding up?
Biff Atlas (The Bodybuilder): Wow. Biff. Imagine having a name like that *though bubble appears over head*
"Hey, Biff, my MAN!"
"The Biff Man! What up, homie G?"
"The Biffster, HEY!"
"Atlas, if you wanna know something, look it up in the Atlas." XD
Anway, he attacks you when you punch him with a punchy bag thingy. And then he comes at you and his arms move wildly, and he does this weird kung-fu call like "WAAAA! WA! WaaaaaaAAAAA! WAAA! WA!"
I think he's taking Luigi's meds.
Miss Petunia (The Bathing Beauty): There are three things i know about her.
1. She is NOT a beauty
1. She is NOT a beauty
2. She's fat.
3. She looks like a freaking pig.
Luigi sees her in the shower (EWWW...well, good thing he's gay, right?) and Petunia spits water at him. Yes, the water hurts. So Luigi opens a can of whoop-ass on her, and BOOM! She's gone, and the water keeps running, making a high bill and causing nationwide panic. =D
Nana (The Scarf-Knitting Nanny): Well, Nana, for sure, is a freak. She has pet balls of yarn which roll after Luigi, lazer beam power, and the incredible power to knit and rock at the same time. Freeeeaaak....
Slim Bankshot (The Lonely Pool Shark): no wonder he's loneyly. all he does is play pool with magical pool balls that hit him in the head!And it's weird, because the pool balls all end up in the same place on the table...Let's give him some tips, shall we?
He makes me sick. First of all, what's up with the sweater vest thing he's got goin on? He looks like a waitor. And second, his hair? I mean, believe me, it's always fun talking to a guy with purple hair, but seriously Slim, it does NOT work for you. And your name. Slim?!?! What, do you want a girl named Slender? Come ON. At least have a good name. Like Kevin. And lastly, you need a tan.
A big tan.
Henry and Orville (The Twin Brothers): Well, these mini-assholes first want you to play hide and seek with them. Yee ha. So they hide in boxes. (FTW?) and then, after you FINALLY find them, they accuse you of cheating and barricade the door with thorns. Then they get on their little airplanes and automobiles and drop bombs on you. How two 7-year-olds can obtain bombs, i do not know. Yeah. Try babysitting for THESE monsters. Oh, and Luigi is scared of the chairs in that room. And a tennis racket. Ah, good ol' Luigi.
Madame Clairvoya (The Freaky Fortune Teller): Freaky, that's for sure. And like i said, she's bad-ass ugly. Just look at her! Makes me go EWWW! She's the one that reads all of Mario's sweaty socks and whatnot. And yes, then Luigi beats her mercelissly with a vaccuum. She was so ugly, even LUIGI couldn't compare. So you know, he felt threatened and beat her to death. Er, or, into the painting at least.
Boolossus (The Jump Ghost): Err...first of all, the name. Boolossus? I mean sure, it's Boo and Colossus combined, but seriously, Nintendo, you could've done better. You find it on the balcony. But if you didn't capture 20 freaking ghosts, this guard blows you back to the start. >.<>
And there you have it. Sorry it took so long, I mean the length of the post AND how much time it took...but rest assured, the 50th post has already been made, so you don't have to wait. Hopefully this reveiw was good...it has some good and bad points...but hopefully you enjoyed it ^_^
Uncle Grimmly (Hermit of the Darkness): Hermit of the D-...Oh My Gawd. Nintendo? HERMIT OF THE FREAKING DARKNESS!?!?!? THAT'S ALL YOU COULD COME UP WITH?!?! Well, after lightening strikes the building, the power goes out. Not that there was any power before X/. PEG and his sweet-awesome hair tells you that ghsots roam free, which is 'an excellent time to catch Uncle Grimmly!' Gee. Thanks PEG. I always wanted to capture a dead geezer with a vaccuum cleaner. PEG says that he's in a room with a miror. Great tip, PEG. Considering EVERY SINGLE FREAKING ROOM HAS A MIRROR! Well, you find him in the dressing room. He boo's at you when you turn around. Yeah. Real scary, Nintendo.
Clockwork Soldiers (The Toy Platoon): Toys. As ghosts. Ghost toy soldiers. I don't know, it seems a bit odd. And there damn annoying. Who knew toy guns could hurt so much? Of course, for Luigi, everything hurts. But what hurts deepest his *sniff* the loss of his brother *bursts in tears*. I wanna know who built those soldiers. So i can beat his ghost ass. Seriously. They look pretty good though, so maybe i wont kick his ass. Maybe I'll mildly bruise it.
Sue Pea (The Dozing Girl): She wets the bed. Her room is upsidown. She sends evil clown dolls after you. She has funky hair. Is there anything else to say? She's just downright odd.
Jarvis (The Jar collecter): What an asshole. I don't know what else to say. The man lives in pots, for god's sake! You know what? I hope one day, someone wins this mansion. And that special someone happens to have four kids, all of which are sons. And those particualr kids like sports. What sport?
Baseball.
So they have their nifty bats, and they take it upstairs. They find the room and say, "Oh look, a mish-mosh of pots." And they take that bat, and they slam it on those damn pots!
So take that, Jar Man!
Sir Weston (The Chilley Climber): He lives in the freezer. And when you light a fire in there (considering the fact that's even POSSIBLE) he throws icicle beams at you. Oh Luigi. Like i said, you are one lucky Italian, wining this mansion. Smartest move you ever made.
Vincent Van Gore (The Starving Artist): Uhh...he has a funny accent. And he paints ghosts. Sorry. I'm running out of jokes to make.
Bowser and King Boo: Now you know why i wanted to wait. Yes, it turns out King Boo posseses Bowser's carcass. And you gotta throw bombs at him to unscrew his head. Then Bowser puts it on backwards and smashes everything. Sounds kinda weird.
I know -_-
And there you have it. Sorry it took so long, I mean the length of the post AND how much time it took...but rest assured, the 50th post has already been made, so you don't have to wait. Hopefully this reveiw was good...it has some good and bad points...but hopefully you enjoyed it ^_^
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