A Quiz O_o

Well, you guys voted, and it's a tie between "A Quiz" and "I don't care, as long as it's funny".
Errr....
A funny quiz? What's so funny about quizzes? When a teacher hands youa pop quiz do you start laughing histerically? When you want to become a citzen of the United States, do you laugh during THAT quiz? Didn't think so!
So, here goes:

The Quiz of Perpetual Torture
P.S. For this quiz, you must have access to Google.


1. How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

2. if John has 40 dollars (haha, johns such a loser) he spends 19 steals triple the amount he orignally has, quadrouples his income, pays 67 to the tax ppls, eats 9 for breakfast, steals 63 from his dad, pawns his moms ring for half the price he orignally had, and burns 25% of half, how much does he have?

3. you are lead into a cold, dark room and given nothing but a match. You stumble upon three other items in the room: an oil lamp, and oil heater, and a candle. Which do you light first?

4. The Glass Castle Is by...?
a) Jeannette Walls
b) Gregory E. Lang
c) Marc Salem
d) Libba Bray
e) J.K.Rowling.

5. Everyday for the past 2,008 years, Mrs. Claus has baked Santa 24 cookies. Each cookie will make him gain 4 pounds. He eats ever single cookie. When they started this tradition, Santa was 347 pounds. On the 2008th year, Mrs. Claus asked Santa to go on a diet. And he did. He lost 43 pounds with Jenny Craig! But he started sneaking Mrs. Claus's cookies again. He snuck and ate 38 cookies before Mrs. Claus caught him. The tradition stopped on January 1st, 2009, where Santa had but 1 cookie on that day. How much does Santa weigh?

6. At long last, somebody invents “the dream VCR.” This machine allows you to tape an entire evening’s worth of your own dreams, which you can then watch at your leisure. However, the inventor of the dream VCR will only allow you to use this device if you agree to a strange caveat: When you watch your dreams, you must do so with your family and your closest friends in the same room. They get to watch your dreams along with you. And if you don’t agree to this, you can’t use the dream VCR. Would you still do this?

7. Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don’t kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can’t tell them why. Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

And that's it -_-


So here's my answers:
READ THIS ONLY AFTER YOU TOOK THE QUIZ

1. It really depends on who licks the lollipop.

2. $18.50. He shoulda just kept the money he already had =p

3. The match! Haw, Haw, Haw.

4. A: Jeanette Walls

5. Santa weighs 772,444 pounds.

6. NO WAY. Not in a million years.

7. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to. See, I kinda forgot you were on my floor, and I wanted to watch Uncle Buck, so i went to get the DVD, and I tripped over you. Err...can i get you some soup?